News Updates

Well...school is currently making me hate my life. Okay, it's not just school. This is just a really bad year. They don't expect my grandfather to make it through the next couple of days. I just got over the chicken pox, which caused me to miss more school than I need to already, and the semester hasn't even really gotten started yet. I don't know what's wrong with me. Life seems to be passing me by like a bullet train, right to the brain. I can't feel. I can't think. I always catch myself living vicariously through things that aren't even real. Fictional people captured on paper and celluloid are my closest friends. I've spent forever waiting for my story to begin. As I keep turning pages the days go by, and I still can't figure out what I'm supposed to become. I thought I knew, but I don't think I can do it. I haven't got the strength to be who they want me to be. But what about me? Who am I supposed to be? Am I even alive? I can't seem to grasp reality through this throbbing emptiness inside. Harlequin-bred expectations just lead to misery. If I had to choose a single word to describe me, it would be lonely.

Having to write a paper a week isn't helping. And I'm starting to think that majoring in English/Language Arts Education is the biggest mistake I've ever made. I hate all these education courses. The things they're making us do aren't practical at all! I've been around classrooms since I was in diapers. My mom is an English teacher, and I'm around her all the time. None of the bullshit we're having to do in class is applicable to functional teaching. At all. I am SERIOUSLY disappointed and disillusioned right now.

I'm actually considering changing my major, but I have to figure out which major would be most conducive to me getting a job in the book publishing industry. I'd love to be an editor, or something like that. I also want to be a writer, obviously. Help! Suggestions? Advice?